


A Poisonous Interest

by Faye_Lecter



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Blood Kink, Cannibalism, Death, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Murder, Sexual Content, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-22
Updated: 2013-09-22
Packaged: 2017-12-27 07:21:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/976046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faye_Lecter/pseuds/Faye_Lecter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I know I will never be normal, and I never have been. I don't know what I was like as a baby, but I'm pretty sure my first word would have been something like 'blood' or 'kill'. It's something I can't shake. A parasite that won't let me go.</p><p>I don't know how long I can go without delving into death myself. To know what it feels like to hold it in my hands, to taste it. It's creeping behind me, like the shadows growing longer as the sun is pulled down under the horizon, out of sight. And it's taking my sanity, my sense of self, and my grounding with it. And the scariest thing about it all; the closer I get to the edge, the more I want to jump. </p><p>________</p><p>Will was already on a fast downward spiral before he met Hannibal, but he doesn't seem to care. Will just needs a stabiliser, someone who understands he isn't normal, and someone who's okay with that. Someone like his cold, cool, collected and seemingly emotionally stunted psychiatrist; Hannibal Lecter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Poisonous Interest

I know I will never be normal, and I never have been. I don't know what I was like as a baby, but I'm pretty sure my first word would have been something like 'blood' or 'kill'. It's something I can't shake. A parasite that won't let me go.

Jack says it's my 'gift' of empathy that lets me get inside killer's heads, but I know that no amount of empathy can do that. It's my connection with death, gore, pain and suffering. I feel the torment, of the killers and the victims, because it strikes a chord so deep within me that I can't escape it.

I don't know how long I can go without delving into death myself. To know what it feels like to hold it in my hands, to taste it. It's creeping behind me, like the shadows growing longer as the sun is pulled down under the horizon, out of sight. And it's taking my sanity, my sense of self, and my grounding with it. And the scariest thing about it all; the closer I get to the edge, the more I want to jump. 

"Will, Will!" I can hear Jack's voice in my ears. "So…?"

I take a breath, shaking my troublesome thoughts away like water. The problem is, I'm not a duck. "It was a female, she was doing this out of revenge."

"What did our vic do to her?" Jack says. 

"Nothing, she's killed before. She killed the man who hurt her, and is now going after others like him," I say.

"So she was abused by her husband?"

"No, I- I don't know. It's- I-," I pause and try and put my thoughts into words. "He was close to her. She grew up with him." I rub my temples, my head is killing me. 

"Here," Alana is behind me, aspirin in her hand, held out to me with a bottle of water. 

"Thanks," there's gratitude in my voice, and I give her a small smile. 

"Will, have you got anything else," Jack breaks me out of my daze. I really need some stronger pain medication. 

"Eh- no sorry. I'm- I'm just going to go sit down," I can feel the world tilting, and my head feels light. I stumble to Jack's car, catching myself on the door frame just in time. 

"Will, this really isn't good for you!" There's desperation in Alana's voice that she can't hide, but I just flap my hand at her and fall limply into the car seat. 

"I'm saving lives, Alana. It's good for them."

"But why Will! You're killing yourself doing this! I understand duty, but other people can do your job. Why does it have to be you?" Hysteria is creeping up in her voice, but I don't have the energy to care.

"Because I do it best, Alana. I can do what others can't." Because I'm slipping, and soon I'm going to be just like the people I hunt. Because I have to do some good while I can. Because I'm too much of a coward to kill myself. "I have to do this."

Her lips tighten, she doesn't agree with me, but she turns and walks away.

"Oh, and Will," she turns to shout out at me.

"Yeah?"

"Jack wants you in his office tomorrow morning, to meet your new psychiatrist. Please an effort with this one, Will. Doctor Lecter is very good, just-" she pauses. "Please just try?"

I roll my eyes, the psychiatrists never understand what is going on in my head, and I hate being analysed anyways. "Fine!"

She smiles, "Thanks!" I crack a small grin at the relief in her voice. 

"I'll see you tomorrow morning then?" I'm glad that everyone had left as soon as I came on the scene, other than Jack, because our conversation was very loud. 

"Yeah, tomorrow," she replies.


End file.
